life and death

Definitely railroad tracks. Not mountains and valleys.

Everything is new each day with Zoe. We delight in watching her, whether alert and “talking” to us, or slumped in slumber. We marvel at this precious little life!

Less than a month ago, a plane crashed in Nairobi. It was flown by AIM-Air, the organization God’s led us toward. The pilot died in the crash. The passenger, a maintenance guy along for the ride, died a week later from his burns.

Zoe’s brought a new dimension to our lives. For the first time I no longer feel as if I’m waiting for life to start. Life has begun at last.

Last week two F-16’s collided over the Atlantic. A pilot and close friend of our friends died. They think he died on impact. After a five day search they still hadn’t found him.

Saturday adrenaline coursed through my veins as I tread water on the starting line of my first triathlon as a mom. It was a thrill inexpressible to let myself go hard and fast again, unhindered by anything. As if emerging from a long dark tunnel, my body began to feel alive again.

Sunday as we drove home we passed the bent, charred wreckage of a car. In a brief glance as we passed at 70mph Sandi saw a soul-less body slumped in the driver’s seat.

In Zoe’s tiny fingers and toes is surprising strength. Even her uncoordinated limbs can propel her where she needs to go and her inarticulate voice can communicate clearly. And God has instilled in her an instinct that drives her. She persists until she satisfies her need, whatever it may. Moment by moment this tiny person expresses and exudes life.

Three days ago the former director of Moody Aviation died in a fiery plane crash. Years of aviation and thousands of hours of experience couldn’t keep him from his heavenly destination on that flight.

“Zoe” – her name itself means “life”!

“With these our hells and our heavens so few inches between we must be awfully small…” Hells and heavens are not so far apart as are peaks and valleys. No, hells and heavens, joys and sorrows, rejoicing and tragedy, run together. Parallel. Like railroad tracks.

watching Douglass TV

A while back an eight year-old who’d just arrived for dinner at our house asked almost immediately where the TV was. She was shocked we didn’t have one. To each other, we sometimes wonder when we’d ever have time to watch TV and what the value of it might be.*

If you’ve been away from TV for a time you might find yourself just staring at it when you see it again, as if your attention were magnetized to it. We have that problem whenever we find ourselves in the proximity of a TV as we travel.

But we’ve now discovered that God has bestowed upon us a TV. In the same way a campfire is “caveman TV” because campers simply stare at it, Zoe is Douglass TV. Awake or asleep her face, her wigglings and her verbal utterings capture our attention mercilessly. The countless expressions that cross her face in the space of a moment evoke instant emotional responses across the gamut from laughter to dread. How can the smooth, innocent face of a new born do that?!

She’s such a beautiful TV and so worth the time spent enraptured by her!

four heads, eight eyes, six arms and 10 legs (expectations)

What has the characteristics described in the subject line? Our family of four on a hike in the Great Smokey Mountains National Park. We wondered aloud how much a bear might fear us as we strolled along attached to each other by leash, hands and baby carrier.

I’ve found it amazing how when one has expectations of something, one’s perception of that thing are deeply affected by those expectations. Coming into motherhood, I had few expectations, except to get little sleep. Thankfully we’ve been able to get much more sleep than I expected.

Aside from that, the sky was the limit. And I’ve found that much like having Chili and making concessions for her in everything we do and everywhere we go, having Zoe is similar – looking in from the outside, it seems like a lot of work and hassle to care for a dog…or a baby. But from the inside it’s nothing really. Whatever inconvenience might happen or time might vanish simply disappears from all consideration – and eventually from memory – until all that remains is wonder and pleasure.

When Chili lays her head against me, heaves a sigh and closes her eyes to sleep, I scratch her belly and remember nothing of the poop and barf we’ve had to clean up over the years. She is all treasure.

When Zoe molds to my arms and slumps into sleep, a smile spontaneously crossing her face, she is pure angel. All endless fussing and 2am dirty diaper changes flit away beneath her delicate beauty. Sure, some things take more thought or coordination but we’re living up to our reputation: at three weeks of age, Zoe’s logged over 20 miles of hiking trails and a week of life in our trailer. I had few expectations, but life with her has far exceeded anything I may have dreamt!

She sleeps now as I type. And so should I! (For those who were more interested in the waterbirth, you can now find the story behind ours here: http://donnadouglass.com/about_us/waterbirth.doc)

www.donnadouglass.wordpress.com

gift of life

A vague awareness of God’s presence permeated the weekend as we moved seamlessly from “couple” to “family”. Little Zoe Noelle swam into the world of light and sound at 9:55pm Saturday evening. After a few laps around the warm tub, she beached her 21 inch round, pink frame onto my belly, weighing a mere 7lb 12oz.

Since then she’s entertained us with her explorations into free movement and the sound of her own tiny voice. She hasn’t told us where the dark hair came from but she is resting up for all the adventures I think she already knows we have planned for her!

(from Sandi/Slick) Zoe was born in a bathtub under water...I guess that is our little triathlete starting out right :-). That was not the plan, but simply the way the cards fell…

Sandi/Slick was also a great coach and help. There’s no way I could’ve done it without him…or Him – so many huge thanks to all of you who prayed!! The hand God was definitely guiding the whole day!

In His grip (and very thankful to be!)

Donna

PS: “Zoe” means “life” in Greek & “Noelle” is French for Christmas, when we give & receive gifts. So Zoe Noelle is our precious “gift of life” from God.

beyond all we ask

Sometimes God answers prayer. It almost sounds like sacrilege to say it that way. But sometimes He answers VERY CLEARLY:

Sandi and I lived together in New Mexico for 6 months. That short time, along with his memories of Army basic training at Fort Bliss in El Paso, convinced us that the NM mountains are wonderful – but we’d NEVER want to live anywhere on the high desert flatlands below them, and least of all in the border city of El Paso! In fact, the thought never even crossed our minds.

For the past several years, we’ve been seeking God’s guidance on whether to retire and begin the journey to Africa or to accept another assignment with the Air Force and raise our daughter in the US for the first few years. One of the deciding factors was what assignment the Air Force would give Sandi this summer. If they offered him a job teaching young officers to fly, that would be a tough decision. It’s inviting, even tempting, to live in the US near family, to stay financially secure and to fly fast jets.

But Sandi has a knack for praying in such a way that God answers. This time he prayed that, based on the attractiveness of the proffered assignment, God would make very clear the decision to retire or to accept the assignment. Worst case, he envisioned Korea or a different year-long “remote”. But alas, it was even clearer than that. Sandi sputtered aloud when he read it on his “leash” (Blackberry): “Air Force Liaison Officer to the Army at Fort Bliss, El Paso, TX.”

It was so far out of the realm of possibility of what he might get, and so far from what we’d even consider taking, that we had to laugh at God’s clarity and sense of humor! It’s so like Him to go so far “beyond all we ask or imagine”!

So, Africa-bound we confidently remain, still according to the schedule sketched out and posted on our website: www.donnadouglass.com/Africa_files/travel.htm.

migrations

I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon that I’ll probably begin to understand in about two months, but after my friends began to have children it seemed that I would hear all about their children and little about them. I had to smile as I noticed a small migration toward that phenomenon in our conversation this past weekend.

Sandi and I were floating peacefully in the evening sun on a rehearsal dinner cruise the day before our friends Joe & Ashley’s wedding. The next morning I ran and walked a few miles, as has been my regular habit for the past few months, with the bride and others. And of course, with Chili. My days of running are drawing to a temporary close, but Sandi and I smiled as we pondered all the Baby Douglass has already done: fly enough hours to qualify for a private pilot’s license, water ski on the Hudson River, snowshoe Vail Pass, cross country ski neighboring Shrine Pass, swim about 100 miles, run/walk the equivalent of 12 marathons, dive off a bike onto concrete at 20mph (thankfully when she was only a handful of cells!), kayak the Sea of Cortez, win Mom’s age group in a triathlon and (her favorite!) dance against Dad’s hand while he prays for her each evening.

Yet even as excitement (or at least curiosity) builds to meet this active little girl, God is already drawing us to look beyond her arrival to future blessings and opportunities He has planned. The next two years will be filled with adjustments, from becoming a family to missionary-flying training, language school and finally our transition to Africa to fly small airplanes in support of Africa Inland Mission. Stay tuned to this email address to follow along on the journey. You can also check out the websites below for pictures, info and updates.

Hope you had a great Fourth celebrating the freedom this country affords us!

www.donnadouglass.com

www.donnadouglass.wordpress.com

www.flickr.com/donnadouglass

We’ll be flying for www.aimint.org/usa/

and with www.aimair.org

four once more

Water droplets, because they are incompressible, may as well be bullets when they impact the tips of our wood propeller which travel at nearly the speed of sound. Having repaired our rain-pocked prop several times over the past two years, I heeded Sandi’s suggestion and headed north from Baltimore, away from home and away from the rain. Thankfully my sister Ginni, not yet fully coherent after her cross-country flight and transition to Eastern Daylight Time over one short night, agreed to the adventure.

Cruising low over the rolling New Jersey farmland, I commented that Solberg Airport was eight miles in front of us. “Two hours of paddling,” said Ginni the kayak guide. “Or three minutes of flying,” I smiled back. But before landing at the airport, we scribed a half a circle in the sky over Grandma’s farm, looking down on the fields full of childhood memories.

Today, however, we skipped stones across the stream as we reminisced about leaping over horse jumps on foot and trotting around the riding ring on stick horses (broomsticks with cloth horse heads) before enjoying lunch with Grandma, Aunt Dorothy and Dad. It was truly a blessing to share an unhurried moment with family members we so rarely see.

Dinner provided a second special moment despite the absence of my best friend and husband: for the first time in many years, Mom, Dad, Ginni and I were a family of four around the table. The impending arrival of our baby girl continually reminded me that this would very likely be the last time we’d visit together as a family of four, comfortable in our unspoken signals and familiarity: we know without discussion who sits where, we’ll hold hands as Dad says grace and we’ll all put mayonnaise on our broccoli. These are life’s little treasures, these well-worn trails of tradition shared by a family.

As Sandi and I look forward to the expansion of our family and to establishing our own traditions, I thank God for those moments to reminisce, and thank Ginni for her willingness to jet (or at least prop) all over the eastern seaboard before returning to the middle for the Mid-Atlantic Kayak Festival.

Happy early Memorial Day!

Donna (& Sandi/Slick)

PS: we’re due 11 Sep & still working on names… J If you’re interested in pictures, they’re available here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/donnadouglass/sets/72157618448066622/show/

an Artist and His accompanist

Stars twinkle from horizon to horizon, hidden only by the cactus-dotted cliff that wraps protectively around us. My gaze slides down the rocky beach from the cliff, past our kayaks, tents and camp kitchen, and settles where the waves lap gently at the shore, bioluminescence mingling with reflected stars as each peaceful swell tumbles onto the stones. What a rare treasure to watch the Master Artist at work all day in the desert flora and life-laden sea, to hear the heavens silently declare His praises at night, and to marvel at each uniquely intricate sunrise He paints to welcome the arrival of each fresh day. As the show begins on this, our fifth and final day on the islands, a familiar reverent melody wafts out of my sister’s flute and mingles with the waves. Ginni serenades the Artist as He washes the sky in ever more vivid reds and golds.

Later we will cross back through the roughest seas and wind we have yet seen on this trip to the mainland where sun and shadow dance on the stark desert peaks that rise abruptly above the Sea of Cortez. The week had slid by far too quickly, like so many do, but it was a week I treasure like few others, filled with the love and joy of family as we celebrated my parents’ 45th wedding anniversary, my mom and aunt’s shared birthday and the impending arrival of a new generation.

So, many thanks to Ginni for arranging it and to all of you around the country who helped us celebrate. It was definitely a week to remember! You can follow along on our journey either through story or through pictures.

And if you're ever interested on just such a trip, just follow the link to Ginni's website.

Happy Valentine’s day this Saturday!

Donna

an Artist and His accompanist